Movie script from a metaphor

[Dee]

Still on Chapter 2 of ‘Growing Your Own Poem’.

We have been creating and elaborating metaphors for abstract things, and now the task is to elaborate further to create what reads like a movie script.

[Dee]

Holiday Bliss

she’s an A list celebrity
in the highest demand
everyone wants her to come to their town

a million pleading DMs in her mailbox
the red carpet ready to be laid
and finally a date on the calendar is circled

in red pen with exclamation marks
little love hearts and a countdown to the
best day of the year when

the first glimpse of her sends
a wave of thrill down our spine
there is fanfare and deafening cheering

countless photos taken of her posing
for the hungry cameras she is poised
in a stunning dress and takes our breath away

makes us wonder if this is
actually real has there really been a purpose
to the sleepless nights the frantic wait

camping out in the wind and the rain
with nothing to our names but
the sheer longing for her arrival

autographs signed selfies taken
waves of flowers and rolling tears
smiles and kisses blown into the crowd

and she’ll be gone like a birthday cake
leaving eyes dulled again with the everyday
and the scattered litter of anticipation

i would rather she was
just the girl nextdoor
who runs a village choir
bakes bread
and wears ribbons
in her hair
pops over
for coffee
an easy lunch
of leftovers
movie nights
and sleepovers
always unhurried
and always
unannounced

~ AP

[Lori]

This is a really interesting read. I love how it all wound down to a better reality with the illusion and temporary high "gone like birthday cake" and the realization (wish) the object of all this desire was something more at our fingertips - elevating and embracing what we truly value and perhaps already have in others in our orbit. Then, "always unhurried and always unannounced" is a perfect bow tied in words lines down from the ribbons in her hair.

I am wondering if you can elaborate more on the assignment itself and what you put into your piece directly as a result. Merci!

[Dee]

Thanks Pic. Well, the assignment came from our book ‘Growing Your Own Poem’, Chapter 2. After we have been asked to create short poems from metaphors, describing an abstract with a concrete image, and then elaborate on it, - the task grew into a more elaborate extension. To describe an abstract idea with a very concrete piece of realism that plays out like a film script.

Now I’ve already written a poem in this style, ‘Betrayal’, that described in detail someone, self-absorbed, carelessly knocking off my favourite cup off the table. That poem just kind of happened that way. But this time the task was to actually create a film strip.

So I was trying to capture this great human need for a break from the everyday life, this kind of heightened level of peace and happiness and lightness and elevation we expect from being on holiday, because for various reasons it seems like these things are unattainable in our everyday, but - that’s just so sad. It really shouldn’t be like that. I mean, holidays are important, and they should be fun, an adventure, and a source of inspiration, but our lives shouldn’t be just defined by always longing for the next holiday. We need to find what we are looking for in our everydays too.

So I’ve had the two women depicting this, and to me it reads like a film script. I really enjoyed writing it. Funnily enough, finding a title was the hardest part. I knew exactly what I wanted to express, and from your post it’s clear you got it spot on, but to express it in just one word what I was trying to describe was the most difficult thing.

And then our next chapter will be on … titles!

[Moonchime]

Well this brought a big smile to my face. The clue is definitely in the title, which is a very good way of informing your reader what you are thinking without any direct reference later on but it was a help that you added further explanation to the task.

It is a really fun piece and actually filled my head with a series of images which plays out like a movie/film strip which was the intention and which it successfully achieves. You can visualise the pictures as they move from one to the next especially all the posing and the selfies but the last verse comes as a delightful shock, and because of its layout it reads as an excited and definitive opinion in a very "no-nonsense" manner. Love it.

However I'm not sure your "girl next door" is your everyday neighbour!!! I think I may be lacking!!!

[Dee]

You’d do just fine, Mz K, as the girl next door… I wish!

I’m glad the poem made you smile and thanks for the lovely review!!!