Movie #6 Truly Madly Deeply

[Dee]

The therapist.

I don't think Nina had a therapist prior to Jamie's death, I think she's actually descibed her to Mark as her bereavement counsellor. Yes, she was very rigid and detached, but I think they are supposed to be to a large extent. They're just there to listen and ask the right questions to keep their client's monologue going. It's basically self-analysis and self-guidance. The sessions merely provide a platform, and the questions offer some focus.

It didn't feel like Nina wanted any warmth or empathy or interaction with her either. Perhaps sympathy in this situation just makes your heart ache even more... I don't know. Tears and sadness in the eyes of a listener, that's not necessarily what she needed from the therapist. So even though it felt heartless, and perhaps she overdid the detachment, I think it was purposeful.

[Dee]

Mark.

Yes, slightly over the top, but he was into all that drama stuff and games, which kinda explained it, and made him interesting but also slightly annoying. I guess he was also very nervous, because he liked Nina and he felt contradictory vibes coming from her, so he felt confused, frustrated, almost verging on the desperate, which I agree, was a bit too full on after very little interaction. But Nina is such a wonderfully enticing and engaging woman, that perhaps he really sensed and craved this connection to deepen with her. I thought it was adorable, all the men around her so besotted with her.

[Lori]

Yes, Mark was childlike which was reflected in his choice of occupation. Regarding psychiatry or psychology, I've always marveled at the vocation. It is like anything else - there are people who are horrible at it and incredible.

I also liked that a Joni Mitchell song was in this film:



You are in my blood like holy wine
You taste so bitter and so sweet, oh
I could drink a case of you, darling
And I would still be on my feet - oh I would still be on my feet

[NurseRatched]

Perhaps it was just the performance. It seemed out of place and wooden, compared to everyone else in the film...

And amen to Joni

[Dee]

Yes, such a perfect song for this film, for this couple.

[Dee]

Perhaps it was just the performance. It seemed out of place and wooden, compared to everyone else in the film...

And amen to Joni

I tend to agree. I liked the character, but the acting was not as relatable as Alan's and Juliet's. More like tha character, the acting was a bit off, and OTT.

[Dee]

Nina.

Oh Nina. I think she's one of my all time favourite female characters. Someone I'd love to know and I'm sure I'd adore in real life. Such a giving, loving, affectionate person, so bright, open, fun-loving, light and cheerful, with a deeply sensitive and reflective side. Her inconsolable grief is just the more painful for it has fallen on such a bright little spark. She has made progress though, if only on a surface level. But that's already huge and a lot of people can't manage it: functioning in the everyday, at work, interacting with people... She was doing great on all those fronts. But as soon as she was alone, she was swallowed by pain, she couldn't let go. It was so very hard to watch this raw anguish. I've seen this film many times, and still, each time it slams me in the chest. Her opening up to the new life she's been craving is simply delightful.

She's had so many wonderful moments. You've already mentioned a lot of them. I loved how she fell asleep with Jamie's cricket bat (for rat protection) and the ugly grey cat figure by her bed... I loved how she kissed the top of her nephew's head to compensate for her sister's fussy and somewhat cold treatment of her son. Loved the pens shoved into her nostrils, to make him laugh. Loved her taking the piss out of Jamie's word choice "juicyly". Loved her crazy dancing. Her honesty with everyone.

So basically, I loved everything about her.

[Dee]

And Juliet Stevenson is one of the finest actresses in the world.

I almost quit watching when Nina was in the therapist's office. I have never seen such a real expression of raw grief in any movie.

Juliet's depiction of grief while with the psychiatrist was one of the best I've ever seen. Disconsolate. Truly the hell of loss "Abandon all hope..." The veneer fell off like a mask and then snapped into place again, "I am fine. Truly I am."

I couldn't agree more.

The other moment that always hits me is when Mark offers her a lift, and they are on a date, and it isn't actually happening, but just before she would get in the car, she has a moment, she really has to work through it, that she can make this next step, and breaks down a little, starts crying, and finally tells Mark about Jamie, about her grief being the "thing" between them.

[Dee]

Jamie and Nina.

Such a romantic, exciting relationship, such deep connection, intellectual, artistic, and it felt like they were soul mates. They had such a playful way with each other. I loved their little memory game from which the title is taken, and all the times Jamie play-scared Nina. Yet, they were not a perfect match in everyday matters. She was messy, he was a neat freak. She felt slightly intimidated by him, and compromised a fair bit. She reined in what she wanted to please him. They had wonderful fun together, but it seems they both had their own full lives as well. Perhaps Nina would have liked to spend more time with Jamie. Perhaps Jamie spent a lot of time with his friends in his real life as well. He had some annoying traits. Yet he was exciting, fascinating and deeply in love with Nina. They worked as a couple. And such intensity that existed between them... it's hard to accept that it's gone forever.

I agree with you DF, the other ghost buddies were coaching, advising Jamie, how to best help Nina. And only by helping her move on could he move on himself. I loved the many dimensions of how he did that. Giving her a bit more of their abruptly stolen time together. Confirming that he's gonna be always with her in some ways. Highlighting and possibly exaggerating some of his traits he knew Nina found annoying. Reciting her poetry about choosing to embrace life. (Thank you for the quote, Lori! ) Music...

I loved the simple symbolism of Nina putting the cello into its case at the end. She keeps it but it's no longer standing in the corner like a brutal reminder. It's literally that quote again from TWD.
"The pain doesn't go away. You just make room for it." You put the cello in its case...

[Dee]

There were some extremely painful moments for me, particularly with the musical interaction. I will remember those moments in my own relationship or, if I leave first, my husband will no doubt. The spontaneous comradry and symbiotic ease and joy - a gift beyond words. The pleasure now for the pain then.

I can imagine how deeply this must have affected you, Lori. It works both ways though. All these memories might hurt like hellfire one day, but they are also right at the heart of your love and life together and have already formed some of your most treasured memories... So much truth in that line from Shadowlands. The more beautiful the memory, the more it will hurt. It's just the price to pay for it.

[NurseRatched]

It's a special movie to you, Dee, and it's a treat to see things through your eyes! I love reading everyone's interpretations almost as much as watching these movies.

And grief? You do make room for it. Wise words.

[Dee]

It is a wonderful way to get to know people better, isn't it? Ask them to talk about what they like or don't like in a movie. You learn so much! I love reading all your thoughts too.

And isn't it just the best feeling when people can share the love. It means so much to me that you've all loved this film. It can't possibly work that way all the time, (Björk, anyone? ) but sharing the love is one very special kind of joy.