The Way You See It

[Dee]

I think that’s one of the best things about workshopping poems, that we learn so much from each other. Both from our ever so different responses to the same prompt and the reviews of course.

Thank you Mz Iris for your lovely reflections on my submission - I'm happy you found it enjoyable.

The parenting thing… I think that might be a universal feeling...

[Lori]

Can I just...embrace this?

Just In Case You Wanted To Know…

What I love about night is its cloak
I am in saturated agreement...
What I hate about morning is its lecture
What time does that start for you? Immediately or mid-morning?

What I love about books is their teeth
What I hate about clocks is their stare

What I love about winter is its tomb
Just. Yes.
What I hate about history is its mirror
As good as it is for us, it's painful...

What I love about poems is their twitchy legs
Laughing with and loving the above line!
What I hate about macaroons is their smugness
Nose in the air bakery confection..oui oui plebeians *sniff

What I love about summer is its fashion parade
Thin people often do love this...
What I hate about Nelson’s Column is its crane in the neck
Had to look this up. Up to the hemisphere indeed!

What I love about dentists is...nothing
I love learning more about you. You are not a cheap date and a free toothbrush will not sway you!
What I hate about dentists is...everything (especially being put on mute)
This is great. Especially being on forced mute while asked questions.

What I hate about storms is their downright disobedience
what I love about storms is their downright disobedience

The above lines are wonderful, PIC.

What I hate about children is their snot
What I love about children is their hopscotch and handstands


What I hate about tears is their plumber
What I love about rain is its travel bag

This is quite intriguing. The plumber being the one who causes the release?
The clouds being the travel bag? You slay me.

What I hate about spiders is their larder
What I love about cats is their parkour (purr-fect noun)

What I hate about Bert is his burp and farts
Who is this Bert and why do his orifices leak?
What I love about Paris is its silk scarf
Speaking of purring - this is so picturesque.

What I love about the word funeral is the fun bit (Deliciously ironic)
What I hate about social media is its judge and jury Amen! (Or is that word cancelled?)

What I love about love is its green fingers
I am intrigued here. Green fingers as in beautiful sprouting tendrils?
What I hate about love is its muddy boots trailing through your heart.
Leaving a mark....
KK

Okay, I have trekked through your lovely and insightful poem with muddy boots, but please know the totality is left intact and also left its imprint beautifully. This was so pleasurable to read...so smart. Each line and vignette extracted a smile and nod. Thanks for yet another gift. You are a talent!

[Lori]

I thought I was going to find this easy, but far from it. I'm not particularly pleased with the outcome and a little frustrated that I don't seem to be able to improve it. I tried to keep to the remit in the book but couldn't always think of a concrete image, so I have lurched off-road in a few places . . . .

A View of Things

What I love about lemons is the way they contort faces
What I hate about flies is the way they tease

What I love about snow is its balletic moves
What I hate about Spain is that I’m not there

What I love about Bilbao is being swallowed up artfully
What I hate about the Twin Towers is the dust

Love these lines about Spain/Bilbao and the sad halt with the Twin Towers ending in dust

What I love about Emily is her wispy frame
What I hate about Ron is his absent mind

What I love about love is its clasped hands
What I hate about love is its shaky legs

Very artfully depicted with the all-in you and me against the world feel and then the contrary shaky foundation.

What I love about charm is how it tickles blushing cheeks
What I hate about resentment is its acidic taste

What I love about kindness is its wide open eyes
What I hate about anxiety is its undulating terrain

The opposing feelings in the above lines are palpable and have texture. Wide open eyes with kindness for me shows a deliberate vulnerability - giving without expecting a particular outcome. Really wonderful. Then anxiety with elusive etiology and no clear path for remedy...very depictive.

What I love about mindfulness is its warming hot chocolate
What I hate about betrayal is its smug raised hand

The first line is calming and regenerative. I love how a tangible thing can represent so much emotional comfort! I'm interested in the second line with the smug raised hand. I will read above and see if you've elaborated. Is the hand of betrayal a "stopper" so to speak? Purposeful degradation of a relationship - cavalier admission without remorse? Abuse? All of the above?

What I love about music is that it smothers all my loves and hates

Ha! So very true! Fun read with wonderful images and concepts Mz. Iris. You always weave so much into each line. I'm a fan...oh, yes I am!

[Lori]

Well, I've found this exercise one of the hardest I've ever done, and I had to start completely from scratch, because Will was certainly not too harsh at all.

No! Your biggest fan was not gentle with you?

My sea poem might work without the love/hate format - I will come back to it some day.

Anyways, I'll just post what I've done with the exercise, in the end I had quite good fun with it.

Love It Or Hate It

What I hate about the gym is its hamster wheel affair
What I love about yoga is its feet up in the air

I'm loving this already. Smiling and envisioning it all.

What I love about my new house is its cottage holiday bliss
What I hate about my old house is the lack of things I miss

Really interesting and healthy take on change. I remember the writer mentioning something about the ghosts in the house - lovely memories past. I think the writer realizes she took those wisps of smoke and wonderful memories with her.

What I hate about a lie is its transparent veneer
What I love about chocolate is its kiss behind my ear

These opposites create a lovely push and pull, don't they? There is nothing more uncomfortable than a transparent veneer - so thin and meaningless. Great choice of wording.

What I love about tall buildings is all their broken lifts
What I hate about the cat is its sordid taste in gifts

Ha! A recurring theme!

What I love about my marriage is its promise of forever
What I hate about parenting is how we all could have done better

Forever is a big big word particularly when coupled with promise. A lovely thought. The second line made me feel wistful and it is so very true.

What I hate about hate is its soup of stone and bile
What I love about love is its white sheets on the line

Really? Endorphins cascaded through my system at the depiction of love as white sheets on the line. How many fabulous connotations does that hold? Freshness. Freedom. Pure love. Giving service of the heart. Surrender. Simplicity. I love this so much.

What I hate about this prompt is writing about hate
What I love about this poem: getting it done, mate!

Super funny. You did it! And you did it so well! I always love to dance with you and your words when you write. You never disappoint, lovely!

~ AP

[Moonchime]

Thank you so much Lori for such a lovely and witty review - you're always great value!!!

It's funny because I wondered if you had seen Nelson's Column - am I right in thinking when you visited there was no trek to Trafalgar Square? TBH there's not much there besides the column and the fountain and of course - the National Gallery and heaven knows one can't do everything!!! What's more it's not good for the neck!

[Moonchime]

How I see the Sea and Me.

What I love about the sea is its lungs
What I fear about the sea is its swallow.

What I love about the sea is its pebble sucking sigh
What I fear about the sea is the turn of its blind eye

What I love about the sea is its beast
What I fear about the sea is the cage door sprung

What I love about the sea is its lips on the shore
What I fear about the sea is the grip of its jaw

What I love about the sea is its finger down my spine
What I fear about the sea is its fingers’ grip around my ankle

What I love about the sea is its breath on my face
What I fear about the sea is its eternal embrace

What I love about the sea is its hold of the sky
What I fear about the sea is the hole for its heart

What I love about the sea is its dances to the moon
What I fear about the sea is its creeping up behind me

What I love about the sea is its seagull cry
What I fear about the sea is the tears run dry

What I love about the sea is the toss of its head
What I fear about the sea is the silence of those who lay on its bed...

KK

[Iris]

Oh, Mz Moonchime, you never fail to amaze me! This is stunningly beautiful and breath-catching. It's the feeling of the whole poem which gets to me and that sense of rising and falling with the waves relating to your loves and fears.

So clever how each of the two lines in the stanza are linked giving even more of an ocean-like swell and calm.

How I see the Sea and Me.

What I love about the sea is its lungs
What I fear about the sea is its swallow.

No half-hearted start here - straight in with really emotive notions.
What I love about the sea is its pebble sucking sigh
What I fear about the sea is the turn of its blind eye

The "pebble sucking sigh" is one of my favourite lines.

What I love about the sea is its beast
What I fear about the sea is the cage door sprung

What I love about the sea is its lips on the shore
What I fear about the sea is the grip of its jaw

Whilst I love your loves, your capacity to instill fear through your writing is phenomenal.

What I love about the sea is its finger down my spine
What I fear about the sea is its fingers’ grip around my ankle

Again!

What I love about the sea is its breath on my face
What I fear about the sea is its eternal embrace

And again . . . !

What I love about the sea is its hold of the sky
What I fear about the sea is the hole for its heart

Ooh, this is interesting, but I may need you to explain the second line for me. Do you mean that the sea is without heart/soul? It's probably obvious and I'm being a little dim.

What I love about the sea is its dances to the moon
What I fear about the sea is its creeping up behind me

Another of my favourite lines - its dancing to the moon

What I love about the sea is its seagull cry
What I fear about the sea is the tears run dry

What I love about the sea is the toss of its head
What I fear about the sea is the silence of those who lay on its bed...

Oh so poignant this silence.

Mz K, this is truly a masterpiece. I keep reading it and feeling new things. I want to keep it close for some time. Thank you very much for sharing
KK

[Dee]

Oh, Mz K, this is really delicious. Well worth the long labour and I love the change of "hate" to "fear", it's the perfect solution and also allowed you to describe the ambivalent feelings about certain aspects of the sea beautifully, how what's lovely, enticing and exciting can so quickly turn and become threatening and merciless.

How I see the Sea and Me.

What I love about the sea is its lungs
What I fear about the sea is its swallow.

Already loving this, the personification, and the two words are brilliantly in contrast and say so much in their simplicity. The gentle rhythm of the waves described as the sea is innocently breathing in and out, as opposed to claiming things and making them disappear. Land, buildings, ships, people...

What I love about the sea is its pebble sucking sigh
What I fear about the sea is the turn of its blind eye

I do love the rhyming couplets in the poem and this one works particularly well. Like Mz H, I'm also very fond of the "pebble sucking sigh", it's painting the sound so vividly, and there is the contrast to this playful sound: the indifference of the sea. The sea that, no matter how lovely and comforting it can be to us, it's not actually the sea, it's just us projecting. The Sea will just do its thing, whether we like it or not. It will turn when it pleases. And if horrible things happen, they are just par for the course. The sea won't interfere, won't protect, won't care.

What I love about the sea is its beast
What I fear about the sea is the cage door sprung

And here it is, the Beast, the incredible power and rage and violence the sea is capable of, the possibility and potential of it always there just under the surface, which we can admire but ultimately should never underestimate. Loved how you wrote this.

What I love about the sea is its lips on the shore
What I fear about the sea is the grip of its jaw

Nice play with the mouth, the kiss of gentle waves on the shore and the powerful waves dragging you away by the teeth, like a monster.

What I love about the sea is its finger down my spine
What I fear about the sea is its fingers’ grip around my ankle

Another great pairing of gentle soothing and perhaps a lover's touch, with the fear of drowning. I wonder if it's necessary to use the word 'fingers' again in the second line, as it kind of breaks the rhythm and 'grip' is already to do with fingers. How about just "its grip around my ankle"? Now that I'm thinking about it, you've also used 'grip' in the verse above, - you might want to use a different word for one of them such as clench, perhaps?

What I love about the sea is its breath on my face
What I fear about the sea is its eternal embrace

The love story continues with intimacy that is beautiful, followed by something that could also be beautiful but under the disguise it will in fact kill you. Very neat.

What I love about the sea is its hold of the sky
What I fear about the sea is the hole for its heart

Very interesting pairing. How the Sea can reflect the colour of the sky, how it seems to be responsive, reflective and easy going that way, whilst really the Sea has no heart, will have no sympathy, will not care. Personification will only go so far, as the sea has no heart. It's not a negative - it's just a matter of fact.

What I love about the sea is its dances to the moon
What I fear about the sea is its creeping up behind me

This made me smile because I had something very similar in my sea poem, though I said dancing with the moon, rather than to the moon. In fact 'to' is much more accurate, describing the tides. I'm not sure about the second line here, the only line in your poem where I think you could do better, it's just not sitting as well for me as the other verses. Though I do like the different view of the tide rolling in sometimes incredibly and threateningly fast.

What I love about the sea is its seagull cry
What I fear about the sea is the tears run dry

Lovely. Especially as I'm rather intrigued by the second line. I'd love to hear how you got to this line. To me it feels like perhaps the sea did care once upon a time, a very long time ago, but since humans started messing everything up, the sea gradually stopped caring.


What I love about the sea is the toss of its head
What I fear about the sea is the silence of those who lay on its bed...

Another great pairing and a brilliant finish. The haughty gesture of the first line that can be taken as flirtation, and what happens to those who succumb to it, and connecting back to all the other images of the ankle gripping, clenching jaws, swallowing, embracing eternally...

Fabulous, Mz K. Thoroughly enjoyed it. Thank you so much for sharing!



KK

[Dee]

Thank you Lori for taking a ride with my Love/Hate poem. Glad it amused you! You've gotten so much of the "white sheets on the line" - love it.

I remember the writer mentioning something about the ghosts in the house - lovely memories past. I think the writer realizes she took those wisps of smoke and wonderful memories with her.

You're totally right. Everything worth holding onto has come along with us.
I thought I'd miss the house, parts of the house, the garden maybe, surely the willow trees in the back, but I was most surprised to find I really don't miss any of it. I remember these things fondly, but I have no desire to be back there, to revisit, no desire at all. In fact we have been back a couple of times to see what the new owners have done to the house, and it could well be a different house/garden altogether.

Funny story: for our Christmas meal when we got to preparing the potatoes for roasting, I asked Will to get some rosemary from the garden. He went out to look and came back saying we don't have any!
Now in our old house we had rosemary in the front garden we've planted there, so I never ever bought any rosemary. Ha! All shops were shut... what to do? Under the cover of the dark, Will walked back to our old house and pinched a handful of rosemary from our old front garden!
True story!

[Lori]

OMG!!! Laughing so much at this cheeky adventure! No doubt the new owners would love this story too. Did he blow a kiss to the other neighbors with the car park?

[Dee]

OMG!!! Laughing so much at this cheeky adventure! No doubt the new owners would love this story too. Did he blow a kiss to the other neighbors with the car park?

We might tell them one day! We are very friendly with them!

The car park ceased to be a car park / someone must have reported him or the council took notice. Soon after we moved out the number of cars went down to two!

[Lori]

How I see the Sea and Me.

What I love about the sea is its lungs
What I fear about the sea is its swallow.

What I love about the sea is its pebble sucking sigh
What I fear about the sea is the turn of its blind eye

What I love about the sea is its beast
What I fear about the sea is the cage door sprung

What I love about the sea is its lips on the shore
What I fear about the sea is the grip of its jaw

What I love about the sea is its finger down my spine
What I fear about the sea is its fingers’ grip around my ankle

I cannot even pick the lines I like best above - I love the image of the sea as having lungs and then the swallow, also giving a nod to a physical system which is so apt as it seems alive to us. The pebble sucking sigh is drop-dead amazing. I could nearly feel it and it is such an enticing and visceral description. Brilliant.

What I love about the sea is its breath on my face
What I fear about the sea is its eternal embrace

What I love about the sea is its hold of the sky
What I fear about the sea is the hole for its heart

What I love about the sea is its dances to the moon
What I fear about the sea is its creeping up behind me

What I love about the sea is its seagull cry
What I fear about the sea is the tears run dry

What I love about the sea is the toss of its head
What I fear about the sea is the silence of those who lay on its bed...

KK

First, while I have been contemplating this exercise and waiting for my muse to get up off the floor and cure her massive hangover (or whatever ails her) it dawned on me prior to reading this latest poem of yours that I would have an easier time writing about love vs. fear rather than love vs. hate. If you hate something, chances are you fear it so it is nearly the same emotion. It feels apt to write about fear.

I love the personification throughout of this massive earthly element and the characteristics you've ascribed to it. You do this very beautifully and powerfully, with so many emotions elicited from the words you paint. Really wonderful, Mz. K!