Tree Woman

[Dee]

[Moonchime]

He would not come.
The doubts would come in waiting.
She lay, on the quietly breathing earth;
On the velvet moss;
Pale skin against last year’s leaves,
Summer intoxication filling her lungs,
Drunk on love and promises.

He would not come.
The day had turned in waiting.
Salt tears stung their way to the forest floor,
Whilst the rotting leaves played amongst the
Flaming ribbons of her hair,
Lost in the crawling roots of trees.

He would not come.
The sun had gone down in waiting,
but hope was slow to die.
She scratched and clawed at the soil
Filling her nails with its softness;
Whispering her secrets
To the forest floor.

He would not come.
The world had turned in waiting.
Soft winds moaned in the listening darkness
As her sobs splintered the night.
Her heart reached out for comfort
and the forest called her name.

He would not come.
The stars came out in waiting.
Ferns stroked her as she curled into a woodland child.
Nature busied itself weaving
feet and roots, hair and branches,
And claimed her as its own.

He would not come.
The forest had grown in waiting
and a new heart beat in the shade of the wood,
Drumming to a different tune.
The touch of his lips was forgotten in the
Kiss of the harvest moon.

He would not come.
Her beauty had grown in waiting,
as the sting of the past bled away.
Her arms reached out to the skies,
Whilst the birds played in her leaves.
The rain washed away her sorrows
And God touched her in the breeze.

KBK

[Lori]

The slow and beautiful metamorphisis captured me throughout,

As her sobs splintered the night.
Her heart reached out for comfort
and the forest called her name.

and really culminated in the end with a sense of triumph and peace.

"He would not come.
Her beauty had grown in waiting,
as the sting of the past bled away.
Her arms reached out to the skies,
Whilst the birds played in her leaves.
The rain washed away her sorrows
And God touched her in the breeze."


What also struck me about this wonderful piece is that nearly every verse separately could stand on its own as complete in its imagery.

For me, your words can be applied to every situation the yearning heart wants but is denied. There always seems to be growth through pain and a window in the wall, given time.

Thanks for sharing, Moonchime. Really a treat.

[Dee]

Mz Moonchime, you've filled my mind with so many beautiful images. Like a sequence of Waterhouse paintings, I see our heroine's transition in all the different stages but it's also so fluid like a film playing out. I love the rhythm dictated by the first two lines of each verse, and how the story is moved forward with the words before "... in waiting". It's a ballad in its finest.

Every line is precious, how her grief and sorrow is comforted by the forest by slowly enchantig her to forget and to belong in their world.

It's hard to pick favourite lines but I will try. These were some of the words that made me pause and reread with a deep sigh:


Salt tears stung their way to the forest floor,
Whilst the rotting leaves played amongst the
Flaming ribbons of her hair

hope was slow to die

the forest called her name

she curled into a woodland child

and a new heart beat in the shade of the wood

The touch of his lips was forgotten in the
Kiss of the harvest moon.

And God touched her in the breeze.


I've had the pleasure of reading a few of your pieces before, which I'm hoping you will share here soon with us, and I'm thrilled to see the places where your writing takes you.

I adore this, Mz Moonchime. Thank you so much for sharing.

[NurseRatched]

You are incredibly talented! *Bows down in reverence*

I haven't been in any of these threads. Suffice it to say, I will venture in. I can't express myself as well as L and D, so I will just bask.

Thank you

[DawnFae]

Thank you Mz. Moonchime!
This was a poignant and deeply beautiful piece of art!
I loved reading it and the rhythm is mesmerizing!
Please share more of your writings with us!

[Moonchime]

Thank you all so much for your kind words, some of which showed me things in a new light. Nurse Ratched I know just what you mean about some of the tall ships out there. Awesome.

[Lori]

I don't know, Moonchime. Your masts and sails are flying high and catching the wind. I read the above aloud to my husband and he wouldn't believe me that it was not the work of a well-known published poet. I agree. It is that good. Thank you for adding to the texture and enjoyment of this harbour.

[Moonchime]

How encouraging. I think I like your husband too. Of course one can't always catch the wind but it's fun to try.

[Dee]

Mz Moonshine...I must admit, it's really hard to follow your beautiful poem in this Thread. For a while I thought I shouldn't because I couldn't so I wouldn't... but then I thought, that was just silly. This is not a competition. We are here to inspire and learn from each other, and your poem has certainly inspired me to try and up my game. So I kept going back to the poem I'd written to this prompt, cropping and editing it, letting it rest a while and then cropping and editing it some more. I think it is as good as it will ever be, unless I'll completely rewrite it, so I'm gonna stop cropping and editing it now and just put it up here. It's been a most valuable and humbling exercise, for which I'm so grateful.

I waited for you a hundred years
A hundred years or more
I breathed my soul
Into the sky
And clawed it into
The earth

Cloaked in vibrant shades of spring
Velvet and and silk was my gown
Shimmering sunlight played on my skin
And in my hair kissed a crown
I was beautiful then

I sang a hundred songs to you
A hundred songs or more

To caress your distant heart
Wistful harmonies trembled in my dreams
I whispered
I cried
I worshipped your name
I hoped you would hear me
Perhaps just the once

I reached out a hundred ways to you
A hundred ways or more

But my fingers found no purchase
My toes froze into the ground
The emerald grace torn to shreds
Bristle twigs broke
And leaves scattered
Tears dried up in my hollow throat

Skin cut deep with a hundred scars
A hundred scars or more

And what do you even see when you look at me now
When your fingers brush against my waist in passing

Why would you see me now

~ AP

[Moonchime]

Ah Mz D you have no need of hesitation, no need at all- it is a beautiful piece and I am amazed at how many similarities of image there are between our two poems. I am coming back later to tell you of my enjoyment.

[Dee]

Thank you, my dear friend.

I guess, as we have both gone down the route of 'unrequited love' and the transformation into a tree as the result of devastating heartbreak... we were bound to use somewhat similar images and metaphors. I also like that we have both chosen to use rhythmical repetition as a main structural feature. Fun to see the similarities as well as the differences.