Tree Woman

[Moonchime]

Fun to see the similarities as well as the differences.

Absolutely!
I do agree that it is so difficult to know when to stop editing a piece of work. I certainly struggle with it - sometimes I just decide it's time to finish because I start agonising about it to a tedious degree and lose the ability to hear what sounds the best. Very occasionally the first attempt is the best , but that's rare.

I waited for you a hundred years
A hundred years or more

I love your repetition of the hundred years and the way you use it in the first verse and then as a changing refrain. It adds power and music.

I breathed my soul
Into the sky

When people mention the soul it conjures up a great depth of feeling - I love the idea of being able to breathe out your very essence into the sky.

Shimmering sunlight played on my skin
And in my hair kissed a crown

The idea of the sunlight shimmering like a crown on lustrous hair is such a vivid one of vibrant beauty - it feels happy and youthful which creates a contrast to what is to come.

Tears dried up in my hollow throat

This makes me think of dry wood and the changing of flesh into tree all through the process of grief.
The last line is all the more powerful for its isolation and final message - the idea that her love would pass her without realisation of her suffering and transformation.

[Dee]

That is just so lovely that you turn my words in your hand like a little marble, looking at them this way and that way, holding them up to the sun. Thank you so much. Talking about "should you share"... hours

[Lori]

I waited for you a hundred years
A hundred years or more
I breathed my soul
Into the sky
And clawed it into
The earth

Cloaked in vibrant shades of spring
Velvet and and silk was my gown
Shimmering sunlight played on my skin
And in my hair kissed a crown
I was beautiful then

I sang a hundred songs to you
A hundred songs or more

To caress your distant heart
Wistful harmonies trembled in my dreams
I whispered
I cried
I worshipped your name
I hoped you would hear me
Perhaps just the once

I reached out a hundred ways to you
A hundred ways or more

But my fingers found no purchase
My toes froze into the ground
The emerald grace torn to shreds
Bristle twigs broke
And leaves scattered
Tears dried up in my hollow throat

Skin cut deep with a hundred scars
A hundred scars or more

And what do you even see when you look at me now
When your fingers brush against my waist in passing

Why would you see me now

~ AP

I've been lucky to see this in a couple of incarnations and have loved it deeply. So very wistful and beautiful. I love the velvet, I love the honesty.

I waited
I breathed
clawed
I sang
I whispered
I cried
I worshiped
I hoped
I reached

...all in vain. "Why would you see me now?" (I was beautiful then...) This all draws out emotions and even a broader journey in ways beyond a lost and unrequited love. "To caress your distant heart Wistful harmonies trembled in my dreams" It is a life lived in longing. Magical weaving of words in your signature flowing way.

I love this piece, a hundred ways or more...

[Dee]

And I feel like thanking you, a hundred ways or more.

"This all draws out emotions and even a broader journey in ways beyond a lost and unrequited love."

I'm so glad that this intention has transpired.
Longing and grieving seem to be the two themes having an ironstrong hold on me these days...

Thank you, Lori.