Finally I've finished listening to the audio production of the book, - sorry I'm so late to join you here, Mz Moonchime.
My first reactions to the book are very mixed and although I recognise the skill in the writing and the structure of the story telling, I am not sure I actually really liked the book or found it deeply moving on a human level. It seems so very sad and dark and I struggled to find the redemptive elements in it.
It took me a while to get into the book, but I found the story and Jake's character increasingly engaging. On completion I feel this is a very powerful story and very cleverly told all the way backwards, with a hint of a hope for redemption and finding peace and friendship at the end of it.
It does begin with an opening that is powerful, drawing strongly on the senses and we immediately enter the protected, defensive world of Jake, but she is hard to warm to as we know so little about her and she seems so determined to protect herself from any non-essential human contact.
Over the course of the parallel story telling – the past in Austalia presented in the present tense and the present in Britain told in the past – we slowly learn who Jake really is and why she strives for isolation and a life as different as possible from the one she is fleeing. By the end I felt deep sadness and of course, sympathy, for the girl she once was and the terrible mistake that shaped her future.
Yes, the build of sympathy and understanding is very slow throughout the book. I think that's largely due to the fact that Jake has subconsciously frozen her emotions following the fire. All the way through the story, right until the end when we find out what happened that damaged her life so dreadfully in the first place, she doesn't seem to experience feelings of love, joy... and this somewhat miserable and robotic person Jake appears to be, is very hard to relate to. But bit by bit, as we learn about all the hardship she's been through and the tragedy she caused as a teenager in a moment of heightened and confusing teenage emotions, it's impossible not to feel sorry for her. And I guess, some admiration too, for her resilience.
I think the reason she surrounded herself with weapons/ forms of protection was that she constantly felt that her past might catch up with her; she was responsible for a terrible tragedy and although she had succeeded in physically leaving it all behind, she could not escape the knowledge and guilt that was now part of her; she was changed forever and nothing was ever going to eradicate the pain completely; the scars (mental and physical) showed every day in her reactions to everyone and everything around her.
She did not feel that she deserved to be treated well, and for a while at least she allows herself to be treated abusively; her life becomes the punishment she feels she deserves – so no nothing can protect her from the knowledge of why she carries those scars or how people might react if they knew the truth. She is compelled to lie or face the horror of her own self-disgust in the reactions of others.
Even the fact that she does not name her dog shows a fear of becoming attached; of loving something too closely again; of being a normal wholesome part of the human race; of deserving true friendship; of being judged and found wanting all over again.
This is really the crux of it all, and you've written and explained it so well.
No.5. How did Jake end up with Otto? When/why/how does he change?
At first Otto seems kind and caring; he senses Jake is down on her luck and behaves gently and generously but it isn’t his true self. It does not take long in their relationship, once he has persuaded Jake to live with him, for his controlling self to emerge. Once he realises that Jake has a friend and may like some independence he closes in on her, taking away her freedoms and making her his virtual prisoner.
He is a thoroughly mixed up character, longing for a daughter whom he can look after but totally confusing caring with control. At the same time he wants to be in a sexual relationship that should be between 2 equal adults, not an imprisoned subordinate.
I think she stays with him so long because at first she feels safe, but when she realises he is reducing her to his slave with no way of seeing anyone else she finally summons up the courage to leave.
Yes, Otto was one very messed up individual. The storytelling here was very clever, as chapter by chapter our perception and ideas of what happened between the two of them kept on changing. Eventually we found out they first met in a prostitute/client capacity.
I feel there was something missing from this part of the story though. There was an increasing mystery built around the disappearance of Carol. Did she just leave, like Otto said? Did she escape from near imprisonment like Jake did? More likely. But it was also hinted that perhaps he murdered her, or made the dog do it? I don't know, I can't shake the feeling something horrible happened there with Carol too.
In a twisted way, Otto did end up saving Jake from a life of prostitution, by introducing her to handling sheep, equipping her with skills to find work she was naturally good at.
Her time with Otto is an important transition for Jake.
12. What is Jake most afraid of? The past? Otto? Guilt? Herself?
Jake is not most afraid of Otto – she doesn’t like him and fears his control, but he is not the demon that follows her every move.
I think she is most afraid of herself – of what she has done and how she can possibly regain any self-respect and ultimately – forgiveness. Until she faces her past it seems to me that there is nowhere for her to go, running away does the very thing that she wants to avoid – it traps her forever in the nightmare of the tragedy she caused; of never finding peace.
Yes, the classic case of you can run but you can't hide.
Like Karen told her before, you need to walk through the doors, face what's inside the rooms, and know that you're in charge, you have the power to close and lock those doors after you've dealt with the consequences. But by refusing to acknowledge what's down the end of dark corridors, you will never never find peace.
Ultimately I did find that I wanted more questions answered than the ending gave. We had glimpses into her relationship with her family, especially her sister - but what about her mother? It would be a rare mother indeed who would not struggle through the horror to keep their daughter in their lives – even if that child had left – or maybe especially if that child had left.
Yes, we never really learnt enough about this, but I guess, we couldn't, because the story was told from Jake's point of view, and she made sure to cover her tracks after she left home, which we presume happened immediately after the fire/beating. She couldn't return home and put her family through the agony of shame. She cut all her ties with her family, so we don't know how they coped in the aftermath.
Perhaps now that she rang home (saying nothing but still, somehow reaching out) and they tried to ring her back as they have her number (even though they can't know for sure it's her, but the mother might suspect) perhaps eventually there could be some reconciliation coming in the future.
It would have certainly made a very interesting (and harrowing) story, how a mother copes with finding out that her 15 year old daughter was responsible for starting a bushfire that took one human life, and ruined so many more. Then learn she was nearly beaten to death by an angry mob and then she was just gone. Good lord.
Do we assume some sort of redemption from the ending; from the fact that she appeared to be comfortable with Lloyd and he with her; that both of them sensed in the other the pain that they sought to escape? I hope so for I would feel no sense of hope otherwise.
Definitely yes. Perhaps not redemption just yet, but a hope for some. A glimmer of hope for finding companionship and fighting demons (real and metaphorical) together.
It would have been interesting to find out some more about Lloyd. Am I right in assuming he was grieving for his gay lover whose ashes he scattered all over the British Isles, and now he was hoping for closure and a way to move forward?
I wondered why Evie Wyld called it All the birds singing – and thought perhaps that it was a metaphor for life, and in particular, Jake’s days leading to and including the fire; one moment everything was so full of hope – all the birds singing in joy – the next, in a split second everything changes – all hopes are crushed and in that moment the birdsong changes from joy to horror; as Jake’s life changes and those of the people around her. A split second is all it takes.
Again, I think you've summed this up perfectly.
There was also the scene with the sharks, when Jake described them circling her like birds, and the sounds they made, yet they didn't hurt her. That was a very powerful chapter.
My question is regarding the very last chapter. Did we go back in time just a little more before Denver and the fire? Was that image of a life predictably spreading out in front of her, staying with her family, was that how she thought about her life before everything drastically change?
I think the key is that Jake took Karen's wise advice about revisiting the hard, dark, difficult rooms, and she's beginning to find some closure and a friend who will help her through it.
Perhaps not pa life-changing, earth-shattering book, but a powerful, cleverly told, engaging story. Thank you very much for the recommendation, Mz K!!
